A useful analysis, and a new project

I can't begin to describe what a miserable couple of days it's been. Like I-literally-want-to-kill-someone horrible. But some good came out of it! After floating in limbo for a handful of days wondering what my next step will be (all the meanwhile staying true to oneself for maximum satisfaction and least number of aneurisms) I was inspired by a friend who is really unhappy at her current job. I thought - what better time to come up with something that could benefit us both!

I made a worksheet loosely based on a 6 sigma decision tree that my last boss from ERD shared with me before she moved back to Florida. Basically, one lists every single job you've had, big or small, even if it was a temp assignment, graduate school gig or internship. You qualitatively review how you felt about it based on any number of insights (feel free to add your own, but I just did the major job-satisfaction questions that were relevant for me.) I didn't quite know what to expect from such a simple exercise, but it revealed some surprising results and insights into what made me happy. Knowing what were deal-breakers should really help narrow the path moving forward, which is helpful for personalities like mine who like to try everything and have lots of different interests, making it hard to stay focused when given a brand new slate.

An additional incentive for me is that I've had quite a few jobs and consultancies over the last 10 years of my life. I think this is a great way for people to identify clues that will help them maximize satisfaction and create stability. A small sampling below from my earlier years..

I learned 2 things from my extensive spreadsheet that I didn't know before. One is that, no matter what the positives on my checklist, if I don't have Emotional Support and to a lesser degree Social Aspect and Intellectual Challenge, it just doesn't work out. By emotional support, I just mean someone in my corner who cares about my success. There are very few places that provide this, as this lies in the realm of the mythical "good manager." The second thing I learned is that my most satisfying job was actually the Excel consultancy, which was entirely technical!! I didn't realize this because it was at a very unstable juncture where I was moving from LA to NY so I just did this as a way to support myself, it wasn't an actual career move. But in the end, every checkmark and comment was in the positive section and the stress levels were way low while the pay was very good! I felt like I got a lot out of using my Excel and VBA skills for the sector I am most passionate about - nonprofit/humanitarian!

This segues nicely into my next topic:
I decided recently that I want to learn programming! I'm a bit annoyed at myself that I didn't do this when I was younger. At Stuyvesant, I had all the resources for learning programming in hand - genius classmates, a super cool CS teacher, everything! So after sharing this with a couple of my old HS friends, Kieran gives me Python to install and makes up some tutorial for me on the fly, and Alex gives a lot of advice on how to best get started.

On a day where I went out to use an about-to-expire Groupon, I met up with Alex and Ann at this gorgeous little dessert place in the LES. We were talking about programming and Alex said I should just pick any language and try to do a project, as it's the best way to learn. He then suggested I create a Groupon program so that I know when they are expiring (anyone who buys groupons has this issue), and I buy from 5 different deal sites, so I use a spreadsheet that I only occasionally update. What a fantastic idea!! I'll create a program that reads, organizes and alerts me. Lots of bells and whistles can be added like proximity via a geolocator, type of activity, etc. This exists for each deal of the day site, but there is currently no aggregator out there. I'm very psyched, and I just need some instruction to get started.

Now, what do I name the program? =) Expire-me-not? Flashdeal? =) hehee! The possibilities are endless, and I think I may actually be good at this.

But at the bottom of all this I am well aware of one of the characteristics that makes me unique and valuable. It's my ability to communicate something fairly technical to a non-technical audience, and vice versa. It came from years of being around technical geniuses and having to explain things to my non-technical friends.

Two resources for the next level

I found a couple of excellent resources in NY (of course) for leadership and education that I wanted to share with everyone.

The National Council for Research on Women (NCRW) has a leadership program designed for young women that looks interesting and addresses a lot of issues that I faced. No matter where I end up, I will definitely be applying here next time around. The link is here: http://www.ncrw.org/programs/2087/emerging-leaders-network and the text reads as follows:

BUILDING THE NEXT GENERATION OF WOMEN LEADERS
IN THE NONPROFIT SECTOR

The National Council for Research on Women is pleased to announce a project, funded by the American Express Foundation, to encourage young women to enter the nonprofit arena, and provide training and sustained support to become leaders.
Many young people are attracted to nonprofit work because of a particular cause they are dedicated to or for a deeply embedded sense of altruism. They view nonprofits as one of the vehicles through which they can work towards making society more equitable and just. In reality though, nonprofits experience some of the same challenges that other sectors face, like career leadership development, work-life balance, and diversity. Nonprofits, including women’s organizations, also face a graying leadership today and it is important to groom the next generation of leaders who represent the U.S.’s vibrant diversity. Young women in nonprofits and particularly women’s organizations, face burnout as a result of low budgets and the absence of mentoring and adequate training. Women make up 70% of the nonprofit workforce, yet according to a new survey by The Chronicle of Philanthropy, the top jobs in nonprofits are still predominantly held by white men. Women are still a minority in chief executive roles in large nonprofits with budgets over $5 million. Additionally, minority employees, the study found, hold only 6.8% of full-time, paid leadership positions.
In order to entice and retain the strongest talent in nonprofits, opportunities need to be made available to women to enable them to rise to top-level positions in their field and succeed. To that end, over a two-year period, the Council proposes to work with 25 entry to mid-level nonprofit managers, eager to develop the skills necessary to advance their careers in women’s and other social justice organizations.
The program will offer the following activities to participants:

• Career-building skills workshops at an intergenerational conference on June 11, focused on key leadership skills such as vision, strategic partnerships and planning, communications, and good management skills.
• Ongoing on-line roundtables and web forums. The Council is presently launching an interactive web platform. This platform will make it possible for program participants to interact in “real time” and will provide support for ongoing roundtables and information sharing.
• A mentorship and sponsorship network to sustain leaders over time. We intend to pair seasoned nonprofit managers with our young leaders to create long-term, web-based mentoring relationships that foster career advancement.

The Council, in its role as the hub of a network of over 100 leading social justice organizations, is well-positioned to carry out this project. Building on the success of the Council’s recently formed Emerging Leaders Network, composed of young professionals in the nonprofit and corporate spheres, we will structure the program to provide women with the opportunity to network, identify mentors, and build alliances that will serve their organizations throughout the year. With the growing complexity of the workforce and the proliferation of nonprofit organizations, we believe there is a need to provide professional development opportunities in order to retain talented women with a demonstrated commitment to women’s rights and social justice.

The second resource I found was for starting a nonprofit. I can't believe something like this exists, but there is a cost of $299 a pop, with scholarships available for nonprofits with operating budgets under a million. The Foundation Center has a pretty dense calendar of educational classes related to all aspects of running a non-profit, from how to mobilize a board, to where to find grants, how to engage the corporate sector and the building blocks for successfully running a non-profit! Calendar can be found here: http://grantspace.org/Classroom/Training-Calendar/New-York

Job or no job, my calendar is definitely filling up! If I get accepted to the leadership network at NCRW next year and if I attend classes at the Grant Space, I will definitely be posting what I learned with everyone, so stay tuned!

Transitions

This is a tough post to write. Exactly 12 months ago, I found the most amazing nonprofit to work with. And this month is the month that we part ways. It's been a most amazing experience being a part of something so engaging on so many levels. In many ways, this organization represents exactly what nonprofits should be like. Dedicated, visionary, agile and honest. But as time went on, I fell further behind in my abilities to implement the millions of great ideas that came flying at me, from me, and those that were most aggressive and yelled loudest often got their way at the cost of others, with no small taint of immaturity. I'm sorry to see the homespun branch that Erika and I started morph into something so different, but it is both for the better and worse, and I have a feeling that while I won't part with any real animosity, things will never be as Pollyannic and optimistic as they once were - changing the world by listening a little harder to the universe.

I am extremely lucky to have a short amount of time to reflect on things before I commit to any one thing. It's a treasured moment to breathe and reclaim a life that I had all but sacrificed for an organization that I lived, breathed and even dreamt about. It will be difficult to find something as worthy and satisfying as it was working for Iridescent but now I can take with me the clarity of knowing what makes me tick, what I find most satisfying and set new boundaries that I wasn't equipped to set this past year.

Part of me is tempted to go back to the comfort, structure and support that I found in corporate life. The stability was there but the opportunities for growth really were not, and that made me shrivel up and die after a few years. And I had amazing managers who did crazy things like letting me work from the Geneva office for a month to study World Trade. I will never forget their kindness and heartfelt belief in me.

Here, working with children and parents was so rewarding and heartwarming, but truth be told - the education sector is one of the most difficult and complicated to navigate. I believe it to be an uphill battle laden with precarious mines and dense structures that don't function correctly. The only thing that made this fun (aside from the wonderful people) was the purity of high level science and technology - an area that I have enough experience to understand and enough faith in to advocate for.

Bouncing around my head are a few guilty pleasures that I've always wanted to try out. But then again can we really chase frivolous dreams at 31? I am tempted to make a living working in the travel/hospitality sector - an area that I truly understand inside and out. But if I listen close enough, I undoubtedly hear my heart belongs in NYC and I want to stay here for the next decade, soaking up all that I missed and longed for the last dozen years on the west coast. And hopefully finding something suitable in the meanwhile, for every gap currently present. I am, in all senses, available.

Another element that is crucial to me is finding a place where I have peers. As rewarding as it was working with the underserved, the underserved ended up being all the people that I met! Though there is nothing intrinsically wrong with that, it creates a dynamic of giver and receiver. As boring as I-Bankers and Stock Analysts are.. those are technically my peers. I'm going to have to think about this a little more.

One of the nagging thoughts in the back of my mind is to finally start my own nonprofit. I've wanted to for a very long time, and I have some champions encouraging me. But I have to find the right niche, both for me and this city. Wish me luck, as I step into this new chapter with as much bravery as I can muster.

What's in your box?

This past week I went on a family vacation (first one in over 15 years) in Carmel. It was really fantastic despite the fact that my dad didn't come. But I know I left my mom with lots of wonderful memories, and time spent well with the family is supremely rare for me, as like for many of you - it's a complex relationship.

Carmel isn't really known for having a nightlife, so we spent each night watching movies. While I don't necessarily endorse the "Me, Myself, and I" nature of the book, Julia Roberts really made "Eat, Pray, Love" pretty easy to watch - damn her!

Yes, you have your extremely deep and photogenic location shots in some of the richest, most moving places in the world. And there was a scene where the editor pulls a box from under her bed filled with baby things that she's collected all throughout her life for the day she would have a child. Julia Roberts' character admitted to having a similar "box" but it was filled with national geographic magazines and NY Times travel section articles for places she wanted to travel to.

I don't really have such a box, truth be told. But I definitely have plans, things I collect from my life experiences that I hope to give my children at just the right time to catapult them to the next inspirational landing - in order to give them a sense of home, of wonder, of the collective global experience. I have cute vintage dresses for if I'm ever blessed with a daughter. I have a plan for them to attend Stuyvesant High School like I did. I hope to send them to Bergen, Norway for an exchange program. I will bring them with me to do Habitat for Humanity in Hawaii where 80% of the population live in poverty. I will always talk to them in sentences peppered with foreign expletives.

I guess this is my "box". I wish for my kids to have the amazing experiences I've had, but at a useful time in their lives, so that when they're my age, this is all under their belt already and they can take that next step, broadening their horizons even more than I have. That's what's in my box: a few dresses and a sense of the global community. It's I guess my way of passing down a sense of optimism and eradicating ignorance and misunderstanding. What's in yours?

New Year's Beginnings

I am surprisingly looking forward to the new year. My head is full of goals to reach for and promises of change. I think it's largely due to the fact that I'm in a good place to begin with, so that next step towards improvement is natural one. There is plenty of support, courage and hunger in my corner - helping to propel me to the next level of personal and professional satisfaction.

It's been an amazing year. I moved back to my soul's birthplace exactly 1 year ago. The energy, drive and the particular brand of kindness that you can only find in NYC is so familiar and comforting. Quite like stepping into old shoes once you've grown stronger and more capable of wearing them. Every cell vibrates with happiness and nurturing when in this city.

I've been blessed with an amazing job that engages every positive facet of who I am and what I believe in. And this next year I am motivated to take care of my health, shed the one bad habit I have and allow myself to enjoy life just a little bit more. I am excited to step into the better version of myself now that I have promised myself the stability that was always so uncertain. Turning down the consultancy in Sierra Leone was painful, but absolutely the right thing to do. I'm looking forward to putting roots down and giving my heart the latitude it needs to find a good partner and build a beautiful family.

Scandinavia is incredible

It's funny, I never thought I would visit Scandinavia. After the variety of places I've been lucky enough to visit, it hardly registered on my radar. But was I glad I did!! One can not imagine the variety of natural beauty that exists throughout Norway and Denmark... it's almost enough to make one stomach the insanely inflated cost of living.

Bergen turned out to my favorite city on this trip, partially due to this wonderful "park" at the top of the funicular. It turned out to be a Hansel-and-Gretal forest, unspoilt and inviting, and such a magnificent peek into what the perfect forest would look like.

The picturesque Nyhavn sported its colorful buildings and surprisingly good food on the edge of Copenhagen.

The view from the apartment was incredible. I wish I had a time-lapse camera to show how many faces the mouth of the fjord took on depending on the time of day.

It is insanely difficult to capture the enormous scope of Flam. The cliffs rise so high that small clouds manifest halfway up the canyon walls! The water is so serene and it's deafeningly quiet. There is no place I've found that instill as much natural grand-ness as Flam. Absolutely worth the expense and time it takes to arrive here.

apparently planting trees also saves the lives of baby girls!

I came across this article on the BBC this morning and just had to share.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/mobile/world/south_asia/10204759.stm?SThisEM

Perhaps one of the most heartbreaking things about poverty is the absolute uncertainty. In this country, we have the luxury of paying for certainty. Insurance, litigation, quality control, public goods and services. This sort of thing is unheard of in many places in the world. The idea that nature could provide it's own assurance to a baby girl in an Indian village - in all senses one of the most vulnerable by definition.

The Hiring Process

Another exciting thing about working for a startup is that we must go through the process of hiring people. It's something the other Director and I take extremely seriously because we only have funding for 1 other body, so that person really needs to be the whole package and bring a hell of a lot to the table. Picking the wrong person can be more of a burden than they are worth, as so many people are used to the corporate lifestyle where they have a very limited job description and are basically paid to fill a seat. Startups do not have this luxury, and ours is more demanding than most because you need to treat it like your own enterprise.

After a month of interviewing, starting, and ending the hiring process, I truly think we've seen it all: arrogant PhDs who think they're above it all, energetic, happy-go-lucky types who are completely unreliable, people who don't understand that we're not a corporation and do not have extremely deep pockets, and grown men who can not take criticism and completely refuse to return any sort of communication when faced with such.

I think if I were better at breaking up with people, I'd be better at the whole "we've decided not to go forward with you" situation. How do you explain to someone that they're not a good fit? That their values aren't quite in line with what you need to be successful and that there's so much at stake - one shot at getting the right person on board where you need the person to listen and not be a know it all, but be mature enough to roll with the punches and there isn't time to train and mold and dictate every little action that must be taken. A self-thinker, a motivated and brave individual who is not just willing to put the work in, but able to do so on their own initiative, and presentable enough to relay with the other people on their team at the drop of a hat with absolute competence and precision. It's asking a lot, but like I said.. we have one shot at getting it right.

Throughout France

France is an absurdly beautiful country. There really isn't enough attention paid to all the wonder that lies outside of Paris. Experiencing France inch by inch proves a breathless journey, as you see in person all the beautiful things that French painters have depicted, Kings and Queens conquered, and writers mused about.

The Poppy Fields in Giverny, the Cliffs of Etretat, the Castles of the Loire Valley...

Monet's Lily Pond

We stopped off in Luxembourg for a day, because I seem to like going to tiny countries that would otherwise be missed on most people's trips. Northern Luxembourg was amazing - crisp air, beautiful forested hills and valleys, and gorgeous museums everywhere displaying the entire spectrum from illuminated manuscripts to ultra-contemporary art.

From the top of a castle in Viand.

Cultural appreciation through International cuisine?

I've always been ambivalent on my regard for foodies. They've always reeked of privilege and the most shallow form of understanding different cultures through food. But on the other hand, the appreciation for different cuisine definitely has its heart in the right place. And I definitely have an automatic liking to people who will try any kind of food out there with an open mind.

I chanced upon this blog: http://www.confinednomad.com/, which is kind of fun and really echoes how diverse and amazing I find New York City to be. It's a great idea for residents here to make a checklist of authentic food from each country and make the experience an adventure. What I don't see in this blog is much reflection on the culture or developmental state of each, a lens which I guess is limited to few to begin with and which they never purported to include anyway. But what they do excel at is discovering and explaining the diversity of cuisine within a single country. I discovered this for the first time when my roommate introduced me to South Indian food, which I am now addicted to and I find far more delicious than its North Indian counterpart. Dining at a Chilean restaurant for the first time also introduced me to new ingredients, like the insanely huge corn kernel that tastes nothing like corn from the Northern Hemisphere.

I kind of laughed when I read the entry on peanut butter in CAR, as I never saw such luxury there. I think if they really wanted to be authentic they would eat manioc (I believe this is the local word for cassava, but I'm not sure) and big fat, fried grubs. NO JOKE. Even the expats had to try the stuff. And sadly, one NGO worker described manioc as having "no nutritional value, smells like sh!t, makes you stupid and gives you gout." Don't even get me started on her.

Don't get me wrong, I love food just as much as the next person. I love the lovely manners of preparation and reliance on certain ingredients like they were familiar chords in your cultural songbook. But there's definitely a contingency of hipster foodies that seem to think that all over the world, people sit in their well-appointed living rooms with clean silverware and china plates with the air conditioning on and just happen to have different items on said plates. I think to not bring in the customs, history and a little bit of sensitivity rather misses the point. Besides, I'm somewhat jealous at how their pure curiosity and missions obtain them all these invitations to people's homes and other otherwise inaccessible places due to their light hearts, empty stomachs and open minds. Or is their open stomachs and empty.. ? Anyhow.. that is my diatribe for the day. =)